swim swim swim
from the tangles of?

a start to a new beginning?
im sorry ronald.
my heart s with jane.
its not that i dont wanna open up to you.
its just not the wrong thing to do.
i hope you d still be a friend and only a friend to me.

i betrayed jane s heart once and im sorry. im not going to do it again. i know that is not what you may mean but .
i hope you d understanding.

happy chinese new year baby.
happy chinese new year to all.

my hams are growing!!!! fatter and biggger! aha.

baby
things are not how they used to be.
i hope we d get through this together.
no matter what.

alvina.
my mahjong queen.
when will you return from mahjong land?

(:

these few days have been bloody shitty.
i hope its all gonna change.

my ham quacky gave birth! wheeee!!! 2nd happiest thing that ever happened in my life.
the first being having to meet jane lee. (:

alvina.
what s more to say.
with new life.
comes more hope?!
haha

baby i love you. and im sorry for all the shitty ness ive put you thru. id reflect and try my best to change. for all i want. is for you to smile like the past you.

what are my words to you?


alvina.

I LOVE MR SUN.

things
changed.

things are different now.
so different.
im bloody afraid to make any plans with you now.
sigh.

when will i be able to go to the places i want to go?
esp when i just want to go with you.
sigh.

alvina.
my trip to spca?

to you.
my best girlie?

girl i know this is gonna hurt. but i guess you need something to wake you up.

you been whinning a lot saying that you have to do this, have to get this done. wanna do it this way and that. and yeah. since that talk we had, i truly wanted to help you. as in i didnt mind sitting down and helping you.
but now. i can see you dont even care. dont even try. how do you expect me to help or anyone else.
if you are not coming to school because you are lonely, i went thru 3 days of loneliness too! and went you guys didnt come to sch i still came! see that s effort!

i know you stay like bloody far away. but you chose tp. so? just do your best!

id help you. i promise.
but first you gotta help yourself.

alvina.

oh.
i WANT !

to kayak like twice a week.
to sun tannn once a month.
to swim every week.
to lose 10kg. omg. id try.
to drink can drinks only once a week.
to sleep without aircon.
to spend less than 50 on my phone bill.
to control my emotions.
to not fight with you.

alvina
joke la.
but imma tryyy!
wheee!

time out.
fuck time.
fuck out.
fuck time out.

blame me for being childish to think that a time out would lead to a break up.
it may not.
but who knows.
im too afraid to try something like that.
im sorry.

and its not that i dont wanna accept your challenge. yes. it would strengthen us. it would strengthen me. but baby. with you next to me, i ve got all the strength i need. i dont need some challenge to tell me to strengthen me baby. please dont say that im living in denial. i just dont see a point to when i have you with me still.

at times when i thought i would crumble or fail miserably, you would always be there to give me a hug, a smile or a kiss.
oh baby. thats enough strength! (:

thank you baby.
for still staying by me.
please dont ever shut off from me again.
please dont ever leave me go.

alvina.
jane. how emo can i get?
jane lee am i still alvina lee?

no amount of
thank yous.

baby thank you so much.
for giving us another chance.
for giving us one more try.

thank you for blogging for me too!
and corn!
and my sweet.
and my tuition schedule.
your honey drink -finally!

our hams.
wormy ducky squirmy quacky!

and yes. everythings over.
nothings gonna go wrong anymore ok?
and if it does, we ll work it out right?

my love.
my one true love.
cant stop loving you no matter what.

alvina.
precious jane lee.
im mrs alvina lee now.

hey darling.
stupid.

finally all is over.
i meant all the quarrels and zzZ. i don't wish to brag.
yup, we're back to normal again.
THANK GOD.

haha baby, i ain't sleeping yet! you'll know in the morning alright?
yup. don't fear too much my baby girl, for you know i'd always be right here or there. =)
and i still want my honey drink. The one that is soooo sacred that i couldn't get it for like days.
"Tomorrow!" baha that's what you always say. I WANT IT TODAY!

baby, sleep tight.
sweet dreams.

your greatest love.
jane.

oh. stupidest and stupid rock! =)
no POUTS huh.

sign all?

http://www.petitiononline.com/aerosol/petition.html

thanks a million peeps.

alvina.

honestly tell me that its over.

alvina.

baby.
this is just for you.

hahha.
i wrote this out of bored-ness.
so i hope you like it baby! ((:

baby i love you. a lot. and the reason why i throw my tantrums so much is because i love you too fucking much to lose you.
you just mentioned a time out and you heard what happened.
please, i beg you. forever stay by me.
oh baby. dont ever think logically. please please please. please dont!
cause i can see/really saw our future with you.
i really cant see any future without you.

jane lee, you are the only reason i wake up every morning smiling.
the only reason im living today.
the only reason im growing stronger each day.

baby. i believe with you by my side.
any thing s possible.
(:

thank you baby.
for giving me all the love anyone could ask for.
BUT!
I WANT MOREEEEE! (((:

alvina.
my love.

baby,
you made me realise so much.

the many quarrels, arguments, pain, tears we shed.. oh whatever. i'm sorry baby to put you in such a state. all these times i really hated myself for not treating you nicely, i hated myself for losing my temper and such that i could even shout at you just because i was so fucking pissed at my stupidity. baby im sorry.

we'll work this out.
i swear we will.

baby don't give up on me like i said.
you're the one for me.
my one and only baby girl.

oh baby, you're sooo pretty la. don't deny the fact alright.
in my eyes you're the best.
i don't give a fucking damn about others thinking that we wouldn't work out.
but it's soon coming to four months.
and we're gonna hit our countless months in time to come.
baby i love you.

i am really so honoured to have you by my side.
love and treasure me like i do.
arrr.. but don't ermm slap, pinch or bite me please.
my nose hurts badly still!

baha greatest love.. my baby girl.
jane.

no no no no.
you you you.
i i i
want want want.

oooh.
i wonder why im so petty nowadays.
or rather.
i wonder why im so petty all the time!

aiyeee.

baby wanted a time out.
a few days ago.
we almost broke up.

i swear.
i have never. NEVER cried that hard in my life.
never cried till i felt so tensed up.
never cried that hard.
never cried till i thought i was not going live.

baby.
im sure.
you are the one for me.
i want to be with you.
no matter what.

thanks for still loving me so much.
thanks for still being with you.

we ll work this out.

alvina.
i love jane lee baby girl who lets me pinch bite beat slam her nose and never gets angry with me.
((:

i dont know.

something in me seems to have died for you.
you scare me now.
i dont know if things can continue the way they are.
maybe you were really right.
we should have broken up.

alvina.

OH!

I HATE HATE HATE THE RINGING TONE WHEN YOU ARE PUT ON HOLD OR ON THE SECOND LINE.

pouts.

alvina
HAPPPPPY NEW YEAR!

dirty
little
secret.

Let me know that I've done wrong
When I've known this all along
I go around a time or two
Just to waste my time with you
Tell me all that you've thrown away
Find out games you don't wanna play
You are the only one that needs to know
I'll keep you my dirty little secret
Don't tell anyone or you'll be just another regret


i know.
its my fault as usual. you say dont blame here. dont blame there.
its obvious you are still pushing it all to me.
maybe i should start thinking as logical as how you are thinking.
maybe you were right from the start.
maybe we really should let go.

alvina.
sing sing sing.
till the break of dawn.